It takes just a moment of reflection to realise that we are communicating all the time. In fact the simple truth is, we cannot, not communicate. Not only in what we say or commit to paper, but also how have we done so. The manner in which we dress, our accent, our chosen career and even the way we walk into the room is subject to interpretation of others. Many of whom may reach conclusions other than those we intend!

 So what can we do if so much of what we say is open to the confusion and distortion? Luckily the study of communication has become something of a science. Applying some of this body of knowledge can help us gain control over the messages we want to give, taking the small steps to help to tip the odds in our favour.

Noticing the different ways your colleagues communicate verbally will give a clue how to respond in the way that they’ll best understand. Gently mirroring another’s posture in a meeting is a powerful indicator that you’re interested and attentive – just notice how lovers sitting in a bar to adopt each others body positions and gestures. The founder of analytical psychology, Carl Jung, introduced the notion of personality archetypes, later developed into the well known Myers-Briggs Inventory. MBTI archetypes help us to spot simple but important hints as to how people prefer to process information. You’ll notice that some of your work colleague prefer to understand the “big picture” in-terms of new projects and ideas before getting down to what needs to be done in detail, whilst others focus on the “nuts and bolts” before seeing how this fits into the overall scheme of things. Some people like to work things out with colleagues or alone, work using feelings or thinking terminology or are quicker or slower at reaching conclusions. Using your co-workers preference will ensure that you are literally on their wavelength.

Whilst you’re noticing the way your colleagues talk, pay attention to the words they use. The well-known interpersonal communication model, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, indicates that people tend to have one or more preferences for visual, auditory or kinaesthetic (feeling) language. A visual person may say that they can “see how things are going to work” and have “a vision of the finished result”, an auditory colleague that the plan “rings true” or “sounds right”, a kinaesthetic person that everything “feels right” and is going “smoothly”. Using the other person’s style will assist in understanding.

Conscious control of body language and tone of voice can be crucial. Professor Albert Mehrabian of UCLA first popularised the notion of how important body language is in communicating attitudes and feelings in 1971. Try telling a colleague that you think they have done something well whilst shaking your head to see if they believe you. As Merhabian noted, in such situations the non-verbal “message” almost always wins!

The old adage, “actions speak louder than words” can be simply applied to great effect. Richard is a partner of an architectural consultancy. During a working lunch Richard was surprised to be told that his long-term partners thought that he was becoming aloof as the firm grew more successful and Richard involved in separate, albeit lucrative, projects. Not being one to let a good feedback pass him by, Richard started deliberately calling into his partners offices for coffee, arranging lunches and games of squash. Up to this point they were partners in word only. Richard’s active efforts to be around, demonstrated a greater to commitment to his co-directors. The impact of simply being present was considerable and led to greater mutual support and co-working.

People are at the centre of successful businesses and it’s effective communication that oils the wheels that keep businesses thriving. Luckily it is the sum total of usable tools, like those described above, that can help make us the smartest of communicators.

(This article previously appeared in Sunday Telegraph)

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