Elaine Stirling is a Toronto based writer and organisational development practitioner. She is quite an influencer and gets folks to do things by charm, wit and flattery – I’d watch out for her if I were you : – ). Elaine works with stories in organisations and asked me to write something about how I’ve changed unhelpful stories in organisations. I was going to post this on LinkedIn but too long – so here it is

Of course we can only tell our own story. Even when we tell another’s, we are actually telling our slant. Choosing a story to tell is itself telling a story!

So here’s one and guess what? It shows me in a good light! Fancy that! In the work I do I’m torn by notions of modesty and omnipotence…oh well, forgive me. It’s a story of “thought-images”, stories, perceptions and a painful “reality”.

It’s not Elaine’s story, though I hope it helps in thinking about people at work.

I was asked to a team event in voluntary sector organisation, let’s call it an animal charity in the English Midlands. I was the last stop before the lawyers. Things had broken down very badly between the team manager and her staff and there were official grievances and threats of lawsuits, accusations of harassment and abuse. The Employee Relations advisor recommended me as someone who does this kind of work. The charity couldn’t afford things to go wrong, dependant as it was on voluntary donations, the cost of legal support may lead to closure.

On the train up there, I’m of course vacillating between quiet confidence and extreme terror. Two things keep me going – firstly that I know nothing, not what’s happened, who is at fault, where the ramifications, dynamics, types, preferences, blame come from and I don’t want to. I don’t want to get into that particular “thought-images” Secondly, that these people are dedicated individuals who want the best for the organisation. I think that this is true, but whether it is or not it’s still a good place to start.

My process was as follows. What happens between the gaps is always different but my route through it is similar. (please note that the term “story” and “thought-image” are used interchangeably.

-          Acknowledge how painful this is. Here I’m giving full credence to “The Big Story”, people’s reported unhappiness. I believe that it is a “story” and find notions of truth difficult. The “story” is the way we understand the world. This does not mean that I demean the story, in fact I respect it fully (and I know that it’s not working but I’m not trying to convince them about this – people aren’t easily convinced and I don’t blame them)

-          Start a conversation (in the introductions) about what is still going well at the charity. The big “thought-image”, i.e. how unhappy everyone is and how behaviour is bad etc etc isn’t the only story, there are others. I gently eek them out and they were there – continued dedication to the animals, gentle support between people, hope for the future, new members of the team, relief at having a chance to talk.

-          Thinking about the future. How would they like things to be? If people were getting along, how would it be? Here I’m asking delicately for people to create new stories, new possibilities, new “thought-images” about how things could be. I can’t pretend that this is easy and I’m mindful of presenting the view that their existing “story” is somehow irrelevant or erroneous – one whiff of this and I’m done for!

-          I then ask where there are examples of this future already happening? Again more stories. What are the examples of a not-problem, alternatives to “The Big Story”. Again respectful but they are there. So and so was caring to me when my sister was ill, it was a nice atmosphere in the pub before last Christmas. These are all new “stories”, they were always there but now that we’re telling them, in sharing they take a newly important form. They are recognised. I am careful not to set these against “The Big Story”. I don’t say “see, it isn’t all that bad!”. I can see how things can be both good and bad at the same time and notions of balance, useful scientifically are less helpful when strong feelings are involved.

-          I want now to talk about the future and how small steps can be built towards a more satisfying team. I got them to think about what small changes they could see themselves and others making to bring about very, very small changes. I ask them what they’d like from each other, again keeping it tiny. My experience is always the same here and borne out on this occasion – the first small sign is PEOPLE SAY HELLO IN THE MORNING AND GOODBYE AT NIGHT. It may not get me a knighthood or an MBA but that’s my biggest gift to the world.

-          I ended the session with a long appreciation exercise. Holding my life (and internal organs) in my hands I get each team member to say something that they values in each and every one of their colleagues. This takes a good hour with 12 people, really takes a leap of faith but has always paid off. Here I’m creating as many stories as there are team members, times by all their colleagues. Now these stories are out there.

That’s it. There were tears. Transformational? Well that person is still managing the team and the organisation is still functioning and there are no more grievances or resignations. It still isn’t the happiest place to work I suspect but I feel that it was a piece of work that went OK. And of course there are new stories. I hope that there is a memory of “The Big Story” but that the ending is slightly different.

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